Bouba

This project came into conception as a result of processing the grief of my sister's sudden passing.

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In 2017, my sister Michelle chose to end her life. She was so fucking cool. She was considerate, empathetic, creative and musical with the most contagious and now haunting laugh. She looked out for me in our wildly chaotic family and called me her little Gelfling. I loved being her little Gelfling. She was larger than life, and lived more in her 34 years than most can say they lived in their life time.

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When she passed, I hit rock bottom and only then did I learn that I had been fighting severe anxiety my entire life. I didn’t even know what anxiety was. Panic attacks became rampant and there were days where I couldn’t leave the safe space under my hanging clothes, let alone talk to people, and for nearly a year I lost my ability to laugh. Boyyy did it feel good when those came back.



 

I started this project the 2nd anniversary of her death, after my unhealed grief was triggered by fear of losing another. For me, the clarity of what matters and what does not became so obvious after so suddenly losing Michelle. What could matter more than the love we have, the beauty we get to experience, and the memories we make along the way - especially the joyous ones. The dining experience and sharing meals were central in our upbringing, and the thought of never sharing another meal with Michelle, who LOVED to eat, stung so dang bad. I felt so regretful of any time I had spent with her when I was not fully present. If only I could have just one more meal with her. Value sure does come from scarcity.



 

With this project, Bouba, I tried to challenge how form can impact presence. If the things we brought into this world were designed for the shared experience, togetherness, rather than the individual, what would our world look like? What would mental health struggles look like?I designed it with no head of the table for all to be equal, inspired the aboriginal talking circle, with benches seating 2 forcing us to engage with the person beside us to get in and out - It simply couldn’t be done alone. It shouldn’t be done alone.

Get in each others way and love big my friends, laugh hard and chase the good feelings <3